We all reach a moment when we say, “I could have done better.” It hits the chest like a bullet filled with sharp emotions and a cascade of unwelcome thoughts. For some people, that heaviness passes quickly. For others, it lingers for a long time.
Some people transform those moments into growth, while others fall into sickness and suffering. So what makes the difference? What makes someone stronger, or more resilient?
The situation matters. There are experiences in life that leave a profound sadness in the chest, and some wounds may never fully disappear. Usually, those experiences involve the unexpected loss of someone we love. But in most cases, there is a key, or perhaps a door, that leads to a healthier and less harrowing way of coping with what life throws in our faces.
Consider a metaphorical example.
You decide to bake a cake. Maybe you have made it before, long ago, or perhaps you are using a family recipe. You carefully read the instructions, gather the ingredients, and begin following the steps. You even watch a video to better understand a part you are unsure about, or ask someone more experienced for help. You are prepared. Everything is in place.
You put the cake in the oven, grab a cup of coffee, and sit down to wait. Unexpectedly, the cake is ready sooner than expected. Excitedly, you prepare to taste it.
And aghh, the cake tastes horrific.
“Did I add too much sugar? Or maybe too little lemon juice? I can’t understand what I did wrong. I followed every step, and I even called my mum, and she knows how to bake cakes well. I feel bad because this cake was supposed to be a present for my niece, but next time I will do better.”
So you start experimenting. You write down what you added or removed. You search for alternative ingredients. You keep preparing and refining the recipe until you become a master at transforming a 60-year-old family tradition.
But somehow, it still is not working.
“What am I going to do next? I can’t even bake a cake! How can I be so foolish?”
Countless negative thoughts flood your mind. You feel sad, frustrated, even angry. You throw the cake away, even though it may not actually be that bad.
This metaphor shows that even when people know what they are doing, even when they prepare carefully, seek guidance, and become highly skilled, they can still fail. And failure does not mean they are foolish or incompetent.
Life is full of failures, both small and large. Some remain in the chest like a bullet, while others transform us. Those who fail to understand this may suffer tremendously.
People can become masters at something and still fail. And that is all right.
When failures are seen with compassion instead of cruelty, they begin to become lessons rather than punishments. That is where resilience grows. Not in perfection, but in the ability to look at mistakes without destroying oneself over them. Learning to understand failures as part of being human makes suffering lighter, and the weight life places on the chest no longer feels unbearable.
You learn as you go, and no one receives a trophy at the end of the path. The best thing anyone can do is learn from failure and become resilient, so they are a little less devastated each time life decides to throw another blow their way.
Author: Estefanía Cultrera-Elfring
Certified Holistic Therapist in Biological Repair Decoding©,Reparative Regressive Hypnosis ©,and Bio-Transgenerational Decoding©
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